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July 20th, 2009
07:56 pm
beige virginian grass
dry and haunted
denim legs ache
like milking our maternal walls
the sweet stench
thoroughly departed
and here i hem
those vignettes together
where we lay
dirt cratered dusk
and listen
like we go together
this plain is as hollow
as a ghost
and sounds as lonely
as a conch shell to a childs ear
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July 7th, 2009
05:12 pm
today i enlisted
awoke to a starched sheet
were your feet
gnawed and cold
to arise, was different
i left
while all too delicate
for my moody breadth
silk and beguiled
i locked myself out
of what is HOME
no more slow moves
i am too impatient with you
crawling backwards into the soil
and how cool
we will lay shackled
by the pull
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June 16th, 2009
06:34 pm - barrf
alas, twenty-six you have reared your ugly head into my life. time which once stood still is now flying. i am in a great place now. i love my life and everything i am working towards entirely. i have no regrets of this past year, it has become the most eye opening twelve months and i am blessed (although i use that term loosely) to have lived it in my own skin.
even though i still watch terrible movies and have a mild to moderate retail therapy addiction i ultimately feel like a grown up.
and so it begins.
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May 22nd, 2009
03:09 pm - this monsoon
makes me feel like time is standing still. im two and a half summer books deep. half a pack of cigarettes into the day. ive made some necklaces and now i have to get ready for work. rain is not nice to my hair.
i can not wait to come home and melt into my bed.
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April 10th, 2009
11:19 am - lone
kind of a sad morning, it was so nice sleeping in. im thinking that my life is going to do a 180. soon.
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February 14th, 2009
12:10 am - <3my bloody valentines:
my bloody valentine:
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December 2nd, 2008
11:29 pm
cory clark was slight of a pear. wiry cardboard dishwater hair all uniform and down to her ass that was constantly pryed with a pick only to fall in strings on my desk and id have to take in a deep breath and blow off the excess in an elongated sigh, mostly unnerving of the economics teacher who "never took slack" and kept on with passing infitessimal worksheets (with the large blanks) the kind suited for an SLD class while we were free to profect. it felt like taking uneasy breathing lessons.
during the video on counterfeit money the tv mounted in the highest corner was a little shaky strapped on with some sort of belt around its pixellated belly. it looked bound to fall on kim kholer who would later get pregnant by a slug named gremlin whom she met on wall street while he courted her with a coin trick. cory was wearing a white hanes shirt and her bra strap was taught beneath its thin cotton curtain. cory wasnt a slacker and like every ninth grader pushed on average to prove it. what i thought was going to be another "picking" turned out to be the rearing of her own shaking the plastic molded chair twisting her round body enough to face me.
"did you know what happened to me on the way to school?"
uncompelled to answer i raised my eyebrows as if to form a question mark.
"i got pulled over by two cops. they harassed me so much, my car was the exact same as the guy who robbed the cumberland farms last nite. they thought that was me. i was even late to first period!"
"wow, really?" i spoke as if to end the conversation, she nodded and turned back around.
i looked down at my worksheet and saw a goddamn piece of hair on my desk, again, and blew.
mrs. quinn eyed me for huffing.
six years later walking down amelia i remembered the blandest girl in highschool, cory clark, and how she'll never forget that one day those cops scared the shit ut of her prodding around in the guts of her car for stolen loot. right after i remembered her face (and how could i forget her hair) a greying italian man in black trousers and a white collared shirt rode past me on his bike barefoot. his shoes were in the grocery basket and he disappeared into the alleyway.
his shoes reminded me of widows.
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November 23rd, 2008
04:00 pm - vauge
i need to call my dad. this was once on the top of the list has deflated towards the bottom. i promised a few people i would be painting today. i have yet to, i am wound up with thoughts of school. i just did some sun-salutations and ran around for the first time in about a year. i had some sudden burst of energy and couldnt even sit down to read flannery o connor. and for some reason i am really thirsty.
what tenses me up is that some people have been prying. i am trying to excommunicate the negative throws in my life. it doesnt help that the girl in the bathroom, his mistress, confronts me with love. i know it is self-subservient, yes, but no less makes me feel ashamed of the time i have wasted. whats more is that it makes me feel sound with this current suitor. what feelings were once stirred are now settling into the bottom of my archival dust-bowl. my soul was ravaged moreso than anything, my faith in myself i found to be a burden. but i am still learning. take of it what you will.
im going to listen to joy division.
ha
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03:58 pm - wire
the light pours out of me.
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November 7th, 2008
06:22 pm - little five points
im going to atlanta next weekend to see kings of leon, couch surf, get drunk, regroup my thoughts and rediscover life.
yesyesyes
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November 5th, 2008
10:29 pm - patron on ice
what is my probbbblem.
why do i feel tied down. how come i am more emotional over a current relationship (if that) than one that lasted five years. or i could care less about. am i using transference? am i solopsistic gloat? yes. maybe. i dont really know.
i feel safeguarded in my own home. i am always undercover. pacing. i am moody and my head is loud.
i only want to feel, i dont care what. just that.
my scent has been put off by pollution, like a bees. i read this in my horoscope. i cant even tell you if bees smell. fucking whatever.
however, i need to clear the air.
i hate the internet.
and ageing. and whatever today was.
i am going to go have a good cry.
lamest entry everrr.
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October 30th, 2008
12:16 pm - yeah.
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October 29th, 2008
03:14 pm - motown philly
who has two thumbs and is going to see BoysIIMen tonite?
this guy.
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October 23rd, 2008
09:38 am - Leroy
Leroy, keep your fists tight And overbearing I see you (Have come to terms With) From the scope of my hindsight And that is where I begin to recon Trudging the marshes of Fourteen and eleven The clock Weighs As much as our thighs combined. You seeking prophecy From a days work I owe your conventions A custom of trait Whats between my legs I don’t get much for You muzzled my trumpet With a paper cup And still you reigned.
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October 21st, 2008
09:19 am - atchung
i love getting myself into HUGE fucking messes.
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October 17th, 2008
09:32 am
sixtwo.
woahoahoahaohahh.
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October 12th, 2008
02:50 pm - gay
i bought a cinnamon broom.
i have yet another ethnic suitor.
pumpkin seeds are amazing.
so are pumpkin patches.
someone did a shot out of my collarbone with a straw.
its on video.
im going to practice guitar,
and clean,
and get my read on.
jamies coming home tomorrow.
i put candycorn on her nightstand.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CYNTHIA.
(even though its tomorrow)
shiggity shiggity schwattt?!?!
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October 9th, 2008
12:55 pm - THRASH
thrush is a bummer. i told my practitioner im going to see a naturopath. i feel like im cheating. except my naturopath is 88 years old and no hugh hefner. i got another prescription for diflucan. bah. and again here we go.
im going to study natural medicine soon as i get an art degree under my belt. fucking fuck western medicine and the masking of symptoms. ive never held a conversation with a doctor for more than five minutes. rubbish!
i juiced red cabage today. its supposed to be good for your digestive system. ive been spitting blue ever since. its kind of awesome.
we all got yelled at in the work meeting yesterday. and i had too bad of a day to document. except for texting to cynthia, and getting once upon a time in the west in the mail. last flowers, intense shit.
3 hours til worksies.
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October 4th, 2008
08:36 pm - sweartogod
every goddam nite from my porch i hear someone calling "crackhead..." in the distance. once per minute, im not crazy.
i want to punch this person in the face.
even if they named their fucking cat that, and its gone missing. still, i will punch in their face! ugh.
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October 2nd, 2008
11:06 pm - woke up, got dressed
went to the bank, an old crazy black lady in a walker told me to move out of her way. i paid rent and went back home and took a nap. i set all my cameras on display in the living room. worked on my essays a little. read some salinger short stories on the porch. parused the internet and cleaned up the old apartment til it was time for work. sat around with tabby and got interviewed for the orlando weekly about our economy.
slung drinks and talked trivia and politics with the boys. got plans to get my bike fixed. got my paycheck, made some money. listened to the debate on the radio in the back kitchen.
i have an appointment with a naturalopath on monday, theyre gonna run a lab on me. im both nervous and excited as to what ill find out.
cant believe its time to sleep already. same shit tomorrow. i hope the weathers as great as it was today. in a way im a lot happier than ive ever been.
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